Dearest
by Hermione Eveningfall
Summary: Nathan surprises Claire by inviting her to New York for Christmas. However, she arrives to find her father has been keeping a deadly secret. Note: all of my Heroes fics are AU. I have taken bits from season 1 & 2 that I liked and created my own saga.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

Nathan and Heidi weren't kidding when they told me the first half of the semester would fly by. The first few days of college were stressful, trying to find my classes and feeling incredibly awkward around so many new people. I seemed to fit in rather easily, though...even more than I did in high school. West was right, college was certainly different, and a much needed change of atmosphere.

Once the first month came to an end, I had my routine down perfectly, and felt as though I had been living there for years. My best friend, Jenna Harris whom I met in my biology class, told me she couldn't sleep at all the night before she moved into her dorm for the first time. She grew up and spent most of her life in Pennsylvania, and I was impressed that she decided to travel all this way to college.

"I needed a change," She explained, and I nodded in agreement.

Around mid-October, I received a surprise call from Heidi, inviting me to spend Christmas with them. I was stunned...I didn't expect to see them again until July as we originally planned. When I first brought up the idea to Dad, he nearly blew a gasket, and it took a lot of begging before he finally agreed just this once.

"Noah, I think we should arrange for Claire to spend every other Christmas with them," Mom told Dad one night at dinner, and he gave her a look that could have frightened a lion in mid-attack. That ended the conversation immediately, and I could tell Lyle felt nervous by how he kept his eyes on his plate for most of that meal.

Thankfully having the Haitian around on campus didn't end up being as big of a deal as I feared. We did talk a few times...but other than that, he insisted I pretend he didn't exist, and for the most part he kept out of sight.

When the winter break finally began, I couldn't wait to get home and start packing for New York. Most of my friends thought I was insane, considering it snowed and everything up North.

"I don't mind snow that much," I told them. "I like it in small doses, though."

We were able to leave our stuff in our dorms for winter break, thankfully, so all I had to bring home were my clothes and toiletrees for the holiday. Mom picked me up, and told me all about Mr. Muggles and his newest honor. I tried to get excited, really, but sometimes I never could understand what my Mom saw in that dog.

I started packing for New York a few nights beforehand, wanting to give mysel enough time in case I forgot something. I rummaged through my closet, clucking my tongue at the sad state of things.

"Claire, honey, are you sure you have everything you need?" Mom asked for the hundreth time as she peered into my bedroom. I had two suitcases wide open on my bed, stuffed to the brim with clothes. Or at least, what I considered to be an efficient two week stash.

"Yes Mom," I replied, and Mom took a good look into my suitcases.

"You have your gifts for everyone in New York?" she cocked her head to one side, and gave me a small smile. "Your father, Heidi, your brothers…and Aunt Abby in case she makes a surprise visit?"

"Yep," I insisted. "I gave Peter and Caitlin their gifts early, though I think they are planning to drop in on Christmas." This time, Peter was not coming along…Dad seemed to think I handled myself very well in New York over the summer.

Mom touched my face with one hand, and pulled me into a hug. "We're going to miss you so much this year, sweetheart," she whispered. "I think this is the first Christmas you've ever spent away from us."

I smiled, feeling my throat choke up. "Yeah," I whispered.

"I just want you to be happy," Mom added. "That's all I've ever wanted, honey."

"I know," I insisted. "I am happy. But I won't ever forget about you or Dad, and I'll be here next year for Christmas, I promise."

She nodded. "Did you remember clean underwear?" she asked, trying to change the subject, and I smirked.

"Please," I laughed. "What kind of moron am I that I'd forget..." I began thumbing through the clothes in my bag, and closed my eyes.

"Never hurts to have more than one set of eyes, does it?" Mom teased, and watched as I scurried over to the dresser. I finished packing, and had to sit on my suitcases to get them to shut. When Peter materialized in my room, it took every ounce of willpower not to scream. I hated when he did this just because he could.

"You're such an idiot," I hissed, and he grinned.

"Nice to see you, too," He replied, and I slapped him on the arm before he hugged me.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Just wanted to make sure I saw you before you left tomorrow," Peter explained. "Are you sure you'll be all right without me this time?"

I nodded. "Of course," I told him. "Believe me, if Dad thought I couldn't handle it he'd shackle us together."

Peter snorted. "Right." He took a deep breath. "Well, Caitlin and I are planning to fly down closer to Christmas, but the rest of the time, you're on your own."

I smiled. "That's okay," I said. "So, what did you get me?" I hung on his arm, and Peter rolled his eyes.

"You do this every year," he groaned, and I made a face at him.

"I do it because it's fun," I teased. "What'd you get me?"

"I'm not telling you," Peter argued. "You get the same answer every time. For your birthday and for Christmas, it doesn't change. Nope, not even if you give me that look," He added when I pouted. "I've become immune to the look."

"Fine." I folded my arms.

"Well, I'd better get going...you have an early flight, I heard."

"Crack of dawn," I muttered.

"Why?" Peter asked, and I shrugged.

"Heidi really wanted me on the earliest flight...I don't know why."

"Ah." Peter headed towards the window. "Well, make sure you call when you get there," He added, and I joined him at the sill.

"Love you, you know," I told him, and he kissed the top of my head.

"I love you too," He replied. "See ya." He vanished and I could hear the sound of a 'woooosh' as he took off into the night sky. It was hard to believe Peter ever had no clue how to use his powers, or didn't even know if his abilities were an illusion. Now he could use them all effortlessly, and loved to show off for West and I most of the time.

I shut the window, and set my suitcases by the door, pondering the upcoming holiday. When I talked to Heidi the week before, she seemed weary, not her usual perky self.

I said good night to Mom and Dad before I went to sleep that night; Lyle was over a friend's so I wouldn't see him until after the holidays.

I slept restlessly that night, too anxious and excited about the long trip in the morning. Dad would be accompying me on the flight to JFK airport, insisting that I couldn't go alone...he wouldn't hear of it. He was so used to traveling at a whim for his previous company assignments, that it was like nothing to him to go with me and back.

I woke up early as planned, around seven, due to my flight being at nine thirty. It was six hours of boredom, and usually I passed the wait with my ipod or trash magazines, as Dad called them. Thankfully this flight wasn't nearly as awkward as the one when I came home after my summer visit. Dad actually talked to me, thank God, so I didn't feel like some sort of lepper.

We arrived in New York by six o'clock EST, and I was startled to find that Heidi was there with the boys to meet me.

"Where's..." I started to say 'Dad', but stopped myself.

"Clairebear, have a good time," Dad hugged me tightly. "Merry Christmas, and make sure you call us that morning. We can at least pretend you're there."

I blushed, and watched as he smiled at Heidi, thanking her for picking me up.

"It was no trouble," she insisted, and I felt the wind knocked out of me by Monty and Simon.

"We missed you a lot, Claire!" Simon told me, his eyes flashing with excitement.

Once Dad was out of sight and we headed towards the baggage claim, I looked at Heidi. "Where is he?" I asked. "I expected to see Dad here, too."

Heidi smiled softly.

"Dad's not feeling too good," Simon told me, and Heidi gave him a warning look.

"What?" I asked. "Is everything okay?" Last time I'd seen Nathan in New York, he seemed exceptionally tired after his bout of stomach flu that kept him down for at least two days in Ithica Falls.

"Claire, let's get your things and we'll have more time to talk when we get home," Heidi insisted.

"Did you know Dad's not going to be a senator anymore?" Monty whispered to me once we were in the car, and I felt my heart stop in mid-beat.

"Monty," Heidi told him harshly, "that's enough."

"He dropped out of the election?" I asked, once I was able to find my voice. The last time I even suggested the idea, Nathan looked as though he would rather ram his head through a wall than even consider it.

"Claire, a lot has happened since you were here over the summer," she told me.

Suddenly the short ride from the airport to the Petrelli mansion seemed like it would take hours. I wanted my father more than anything now, I wanted to see him for myself. All of us were quiet as we pulled down the long winding driveway, and arrived at the house. In the snow it looked so cozy and well lit from the inside, and I practically ran for the door with my suitcases.

"Be careful," Heidi warned. "There's a lot of black..." she jumped when I slipped on one of the stepping stones, and crashed onto my back. "Ice," she finished. "Claire!" she hurried to me at once, and immediately gave me a hand up. "Are you all right? You took a good hit!"

"I'm fine, really," I promised, and as usual, nothing hurt for more than a couple of seconds. However, my clothes were covered in snow, so I brushed them off not wanting to get it in the house.

Heidi opened the door for me, and the four of us hurried in out of the cold.

"Nathan is on the couch in the living room," Heidi announced, and I rushed down the long corridor, feeling suddenly very small. Sure enough, Nathan was laying down in front of the blazing fireplace. When he heard the footsteps, he struggled to sit up, cringing in pain as though he'd been laying in a bad position.

"Claire," he whispered, and I immediately threw myself into his arms. He was dressed in jeans and a comfortable long-sleeved shirt...definitely not what I was used to seeing him wear. "I'm sorry I couldn't meet you at the airport."

"That's okay," I promised. "What's wrong? Simon said you weren't feeling too well."

Heidi came into the room, and smiled at the two of us.

"I was hoping for a better time to tell you this," Nathan began, taking a deep breath. "Not when you first arrived, of course...that wasn't planned." He cleared his throat.

"Monty told me you dropped out of the election," I said, and Nathan raised his eyes.

"I see." He paused. "Heidi, could you give us a few minutes?" He asked, and Heidi nodded, going to check on the boys. "Claire, I didn't want to worry you, which is why I didn't call sooner. But last month, I...I collapsed in my office. There was just...so much going on, and no matter where I turned, something was wrong."

"You collapsed? You mean...you had a heart attack or something?" I asked, my lower lip trembling a little. No one collapsed for the fun of it, after all. Well, except for Mr. Muggles who enjoyed playing dead to get what he wanted out of my mother. That, however, was a different story entirely.

"Claire, I have cancer," He explained quietly, and I felt as though the floor would give way underneath me at any moment. "I was diagnosed about four years before I decided to enter the election, and I went into remission about six months prior to starting my campaign."

"Cancer." I repeated the word, feeling sick to my stomach. "What kind? How bad is it? Are you dying?" The phrases shot out of my mouth like bullets, and I could barely put them together coherently.

"It's called lymphocytic leukemia," Nathan replied, and I held onto him even harder. He pressed his lips against my hair in a kiss, and let me curl up on his lap.

"Why did it happen?" I asked. "The last time you were sick I healed you."

"The Shantee virus," Nathan remembered. "Yeah, that. Well...apparently the high fever I had caused more damage than I thought."

"But..."

"Claire, sweetheart, you're not God," Nathan told me. "You're definitely a miracle, don't get me wrong. But, it came back...that virus caused my white blood cell count to fly off the charts."

"Do the boys know?" I asked, and Nathan shook his head.

"They don't just yet," He admitted. "You're the first besides Heidi."

"You didn't even tell Peter?" I was stunned. Peter normally caught onto that type of stuff, and was very good at weasling information out of unsuspecting victims. "I'm shocked."

Nathan smiled. "Well, he's been so preoccupied with Caitlin and the wedding plans, that I just couldn't."

"So you're out of the election?" I changed the subject, feeling terror fill my body.

"I had no choice," Nathan told me. "I just couldn't go through with it anymore. Not after I passed out in the middle of a negotiation with a fever of over one hundred and three."

"No," I gasped. "Are you okay?"

Nathan sighed. "Not really," he admitted. "Claire, the past two years of my life were about this election. I had such high aspirations for myself...I was aiming for the whitehouse."

"The whitehouse...as in..." I blinked, and Nathan chuckled.

"Yeah. Well, now that Linderman is dead, there's no chance of that happening." He rubbed a hand over his face. "Claire, I've messed up so much. I...followed people I never had any intentions of following. I cut off Peter, I had an affair with a blonde in Vegas that I never told Heidi about..."

I swallowed. "Nathan," I told him. "It's going to be okay. You're out of it now. You're going to be fine."

I would have said something else, but Heidi came in with an ice pack in her hand, and gave it to me. "What's that for?" I asked, my mind going blank, and she raised an eyebrow.

"You don't remember falling on your butt outside?" she asked, and I blushed. Heidi still didn't know I had the ability to heal myself, and that falling on black ice was like someone flicking me on the arm with their finger.

"Oh—yeah." Nathan gently nudged my shoulder, and I accepted the ice pack, putting it under me. "Thanks," I said, and Heidi joined us, smoothing my hair with her hand.

"So he told you, huh?" she asked, and I nodded. "Sweetheart, we didn't mean to keep this from you. But you just started college, and Nathan didn't want you to be distracted from your schoolwork. He figured it would be best if he told you in person."

I nodded, the tears welling up in my throat again.

"So... you're dying," I whispered, and Nathan hugged me.

"It's not certain," he said. "I started chemo, which has been really difficult, so I apologize ahead of time for what might happen."

I glanced at Heidi, who had tears in her eyes as well. "I'm going to go upstairs and unpack," I whispered, taking my ice pack, and headed for the stairwell. When I got up to my room, which looked exaclty the same as I remembered, I sat down on the edge of my bed. It was so quiet up here, and I could see Manhattan in the distance with the sparkling lights.

I immediately took my cell phone out of my pocket, and dialed West's number. What I really wanted was to go over his house and fling myself into his arms. "It's my Dad," I sobbed after West asked what the matter was when I barely managed to squeak a "Hey, it's me."

"Aren't you in New York? Did everything go okay getting there?" West asked, knowing where I was supposed to be.

"I'm here, but..." I could barely stop crying long enough to take a breath. "Nathan's really sick. Something happened after he had the virus last time he was in California, and he has Leukemia."

There was a long pause, and West blew out his breath. "Oh man, Claire, I'm so sorry," he said. "He told you right when you got there?"

"He couldn't meet me at the airport because he can barely get up," I sobbed. "West, I'm scared."

"It's going to be fine," He said. "Claire, he'll be okay. I'm sure he's just having a bad night...I hear chemo does that. You feel fine some days and others you don't. Just...be there for him, okay?"

I nodded, and heard a gentle knock on the door. "Listen, someone's coming in..I have to go."

"I love you," West said. "Hang in there, and call me whenever."

"I will," I whispered. "I love you too." I hung up the phone, and went to open the door. Heidi stood there, concern written all over her face. She held a mug in her hands, and offered it to me.

"I forgot to give you some hot chocolate," she announced, and I accepted it.

"Thanks," I told her. "Sorry I ran out, I just..."

"It's okay, honey," Heidi promised. "Nathan knows you're upset. You need time to process everything. Believe me, I broke down in the oncologist's office when Nathan and I went there to get the test results. I can't imagine life without him."

"And there's nothing we can do," I said, and Heidi shrugged.

"I don't think so," She admitted. "at least, not more than the drugs he's getting."

I nodded, wiping my eyes. "I want this to be a really good Christmas," I told her. "I want him to be happy."

"I totally agree," Heidi replied. "We're so glad you were able to come this year."

"Me too," I said, and after she gave me a kiss, Heidi gave me some time to get settled.

After I finished unpacking, I joined everyone in the parlor. The boys were playing with their toys, and Nathan lay on the couch reading. It was time for bed around ten...the boys were in bed by nine.

I helped Nathan upstairs, determined to make him as comfortable as possible. "What do the boys think is wrong?" I asked, and Nathan groaned when he got into bed.

"A bad flu," he explained. "I'll be better tomorrow, Claire. Good night."

I kissed him good night, and left the room just as Heidi came in. "I was just going," I promised, and Heidi gave me a hug.

"Thank you for taking care of him," She said, and I smiled, heading back to my room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning, I woke up to find that it was snowing heavily outside my window. Nathan looked so much better when I came downstairs for breakfast, which their cook was preparing. "You have a cook?" I asked when Nathan mentioned the notion, and he smirked.

"Yes, we have a cook. I hired her when Heidi was still in her wheel chair...she couldn't really do much on her own during that point."

I nodded in understanding. It was hard to believe Heidi had been paralyzed from the waist down following a terrible car accident six months before the famous Odessa homecoming incident. According to Nathan, the culprits who caused the accident were Linderman's guys, who were apparently onto the fact that he was trying to take their boss down. Linderman was a former con man who had a lot of power over certain people, dealing out favors, and usually made a big show about it. Linderman had been the primary finacier for the Petrelli campaign, and without him Nathan was stuck doing everything on his own. I didn't know a lot about Mr. Linderman, to be perfectly honest, but from what Nathan told me he was evil and maniuplitive.

"I wish I had killed that man myself when I first thought about it," Nathan muttered as he sipped from his cup of coffee.

"But it would have been his blood on your hands," I said. "I'm glad it wasn't."

Nathan smiled as Sarah, the cook, presented us with pancakes, eggs, bacon and a slice of cantelope.

"You must keep up your strength, Mr. Petrelli," Sarah told her employer, and Nathan blushed at the comment.

"I'm just fine, thank you," He replied, and she went about her business in the kitchen.

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked, and Nathan stared at me.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"Since you aren't going to be a senator anymore. Have you told Grandma about it?"

His cheeks flushed again, and I had a feeling I was stepping a little over the line.

"Claire, I haven't had much time to think about anything for the past few weeks," He admitted. "I've been going to the doctor constantly for tests and treatment, and as you saw last night, there are days I literally can't get out of bed in the morning."

"Yeah, but..."

"Hi Dad! Mom says we can go out and play in the snow as long as you say it's okay." Simon bounded into the kitchen, and Nathan glanced at him, setting his coffee cup on the table.

"Did you eat your breakfast?" he asked, narrowing his eyes, and Simon shook his head.

"Not yet," He admitted, and Nathan patted the table.

"Breakfast first, and then we'll talk."

Simon groaned, and I smiled at him.

Breakfast was quiet after the boys and Heidi joined us at the large dining room table, and the amount of food that Sarah prepared seemed endless. She was insistent on feeding Nathan more than anyone else, and he had to refuse several times when she brought him a bowl of porridge after he'd finished his original plate.

"You're too thin already," She scolded, and Heidi stifled a giggle.

"She keeps thinking I'll forget the last time she tried to give it to me," Nathan whispered, and I smirked.

"Dad, can you come out and play with us?" Monty asked, his eyes hopeful, and Heidi set down her fork.

"It's too cold for your Dad right now," she explained, and Nathan wet his lips.

"I'll definitely play with you guys," I insisted.

"Cool!" the boys scarfed down their food and ran to put on their snow clothes. Nathan looked angry when he went into his study, which I supposed was a force of habit even though there was honestly nothing pressing him.

"Claire, don't let him get to you," Heidi begged when she saw me staring at the study door. "Nathan has a lot on his mind right now, and it's taking him a while to process everything."

"Come on, Claire, let's GO!" Simon grabbed my hand before I could say anything else, and drug me out the front door.

We were outside for hours, building a snow fort, which then resulted in a massive snowball fight. I could see Nathan watching us from the study window, but I tried to focus on the fun I was having with my brothers. They seemed to enjoy being able to wrestle with me, and nothing hurt...I was like one of the boys in their opinion.

Heidi called us in for lunch around one thirty, and I was starving by the time the food was on the table.

After I ate lunch, I went to find Nathan who still had the study door shut. I knocked, and he opened it shortly afterward. "Can I come in?" I asked, and he stepped aside, letting me enter the familiar room. I hadn't been in here since the time I saved Peter, the first day I ever saw Nathan in person. Not the best of cirumstances, of course, but in the end it all turned out very well. The room was large, and the furniture was all smoothe oak. He had a huge leather chair behind the desk that rolled, and framed photos of his family lined the bookshelves and his desk. I smiled when I saw the picture of Peter, Caitlin and I at Aunt Hill over the summer...the three of us were sound asleep amongst all the wild flowers. I missed that day, and sometimes wished we could re-live it forever.

"I'm sorry," I started, and Nathan held up his hand.

"No, Claire, don't apologize," He said. "I should be the one to do that. I shouldn't have thrown all of this information on you when you first arrived...it wasn't fair. I just...I didn't feel right calling and telling you, because you would have done something crazy."

"You mean like leave school and come see you?" I asked, and Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you're probably right. But that's because I care about you, and I love you."

"Claire, I know that," Nathan insisted. "I know that whether you're here or not."

I nodded. "I wish you had told me anyway," I said, and Nathan sat down in his chair, fingering the phone.

"So, let's start this off right," Nathan continued. "How is school?"

I sat down on the leather couch, and curled my legs under me. "Fine," I replied. "I chose my major as biology, and it is a lot of work."

"I'm sure," Nathan chuckled. "I'm glad you chose UCLA instead of a community college. You'll get a much better education there."

"I just wish I knew what good I could do with a college degree," I sighed. "I mean, it's not like my Dad wants me to do anything extraordinary. He'd probably get me to work on a farm in the middle of nowhere rather than do something worthwhile."

Nathan smiled. "I doubt that's true," he said. "As long as you don't make a spectacle of yourself, then I don't think there's any reason why you couldn't do whatever you wanted."

I looked down at the floor, wishing my Dad could think like Nathan did.

"Hey," I suddenly spoke up, and Nathan raised his head. "I just thought of something. West...my boyfriend...not sure if you remember him," I began, and Nathan nodded.

"Yes, I do," He replied.

"Well, he suggested once about two years ago that we might want to form our own organization with people like us."

"Really. And what would this organization do?" Nathan smiled weakly, and I could tell he thought this whole concept amusing.

"We would gather all the people with..." I looked around. "abilities, and train them to do good. We could do so much to help people with our powers, not just hide them like my Dad's company thought was right."

Nathan smiled. "That's a very creative idea," He said, and my eyes widened.

"Dad, you could be Professor X!"

Nathan cocked his head to one side. "Professor X..." he frowned. "I'm not quite sure I get..."

"The leader of the X-Men," I explained. "You know, the mutant superheroes? I'm sure my brothers read comic books."

"Of course I know about the X-Men, Claire, but how on Earth would you compare me to Professor X?" Nathan asked.

"You could be in charge!" I suggested.

"In charge. Claire, I was going to be the president of the United States, and I decided not to take that route. I'm too sick, Claire." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"You're too sick to be in charge of an entire country," I said. "But you're not too sick to be in charge of a single group. It's not like you'd have to do much. You'd just...keep things organized. Peter and I would do the training. You're good at giving orders...we'd do all the physical stuff." I was itching to do something like that, something that didn't involve sitting behind a desk and answering phone calls.

"Claire, I don't think right now is the best time to talk about this," Nathan whispered.

"I'm not letting you give up," I said, and Nathan stared at me as I left the office, finding Heidi in the middle of helping Sarah bake Christmas cookies.

"There you are!" Heidi beamed when I came in. "Here, try this. Wait...close your eyes, first."

I did as I was told, and she put a spoon of batter into my mouth. I let the mixture of cinnamon and sugar melt on my tongue before opening my eyes.

"Oh my God," I breathed. "It's amazing!"

"Nathan's favorite," Heidi explained. "Cinnamon sugar cookies. I made them one year not long after we got married, and he's demanded them every Christmas since."

I giggled. "Well, I'm definitely my father's daughter because I could eat that entire bowl of batter right now," I told her, and Heidi laughed.

"You could, but it would make you sick as a dog later." She offered me one of the mixers, and let me lick off of it just as my Mom at home in California did when we baked.

"Where are the boys now?" I asked, and Heidi pointed out the window.

"Playing in the yard," she replied. "I'm not surprised they tired you out."

"I'm fine," I insisted.

"Here, have some cocoa." She handed me a steaming mug, and I took a grateful sip. "Claire, you and I never really got to spend time alone together when you were here over the summer. I thought we could have a girl's day out this weekend before the holiday starts. You know, go shopping, maybe see a movie?"

I smiled at her. "Of course...I'd love that," I agreed, and Heidi looked relieved.

"Good!" she beamed. "Nathan has to be at the hospital on Thursday for treatment, and he should be there for a good couple of hours. I know he doesn't like anyone being with him, so I thought maybe we'd drop him off and then hit the town."

I nodded. "Perfect," I said.

"By the way, did you find out when Peter and Caitlin are coming into New York?" Heidi asked. "I wanted to make sure I had their room set up before they got here."

"I think they're arriving Christmas Eve," I said. "At least, that's the impression I got." I knew Peter wanted to arrive at the last possible minute, which meant Christmas Eve afternoon more than likely.

Nathan came into the kitchen after a bit, looking pale and shaky. He immediately started making some tea, but had to excuse himself a few moments later.

"I'll be right back," Heidi told me, and I watched as she followed her husband. I knew there was a bathroom downstairs, and I heard the door shut not long after.

Sarah immediately finished preparing Nathan's tea, knowing he'd want it later, and brought it along with a few ginger drops up to the master bedroom. I looked at my cup of hot chocolate, listening as the boys were screeching and giggling outside.

Heidi soon brought Nathan back out into the hall, and I hopped up to check on them. "Claire," Heidi warned.

"Sarah brought your tea upstairs," I said, and Nathan nodded at me.

Heidi kept her arm around his waist for support as they went to the master bedroom, and it took a lot of willpower not to break down in the kitchen. Sarah looked at me when the others were gone, and touched my shoulder.

"He has his good and bad days," she explained. "Don't worry."

"Yeah," I sighed, fearing I'd turned one of his good days upside down. He was so fragile right now...the news of his illness was so fresh in his mind. I just didn't want him to give up on everything...he'd been doing something so great and important. I didn't want him to loose faith in himself, and as his daughter I was determined to keep him strong and fighting.

"Claire, has Mom finished the cookies yet?" The front door flung open and Monty came in, followed by Simon.

"No," I replied.

"We're hungry," Simon whined.

"And what makes you think I'm going to be the one to give you snacks before dinner?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Dinner's not for hours!" Monty complained.

"Yeah!" Simon chimed in.

"You know the rule...no junk food before dinner," Heidi announced, coming back into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Claire."

"I'm used to my brother in California...trust me. I've become immune to this type of stuff."

Heidi grinned. "Listen. If you're that hungry, you can have a rice cake a piece."

Both of the boys made a face, but accepted what they could get before dashing for the play room.

"How is he?" I asked, and Heidi shook her head.

"He won't be at dinner tonight," she sighed. "We're going to see if he can keep the tea down, and move to broth."

"I hope I didn't cause this," I sighed. "I talked to him in the study for a little bit."

"Claire, you are not the cause of anything related to his illness, and don't you dare even think it!" Heidi exclaimed. "The form of leukemia he has is trying to shut down his immune system. It causes all sorts of complications...some mild, and if not caught early enough they can get very serious. Right now he's reacting to the chemo...I wouldn't blame yourself in the least, honey."

I nodded, though I still felt a little responsible, considering he seemed stronger at breakfast.

"Is Dad okay?" Monty asked when dinner was served around seven, surprised to see Nathan missing from the table.

"He's not feeling well, sweetheart," Heidi exlpained, and Simon frowned.

"Does he still have the flu, Mama?" he asked, and I felt my stomach clench.

"He's still recovering from it, yes. He needs his rest." She looked at me, and I chewed on my lower lip.

"I wish Daddy would get better," Monty said quietly, and I could tell Heidi was trying not to loose it.

"I wish he would too," she said.

After dinner I sat on my bed in my winter PJ's watching television, and occasionally answering text messages from West. It was snowing outside, still, and frost covered my windows. I definitely was more of a warm weather girl than a cold weather one, but I was glad to be with Heidi and Nathan this Christmas. They needed me, and I couldn't imagine being six hours away with Nathan being as sick as he was.

I eventually fell asleep around midnight, burrowed under my warm blankets.


End file.
